Patience is a virtue, passivity is not

One of my biggest struggles is patience. I think the same holds true for any high-achieving man. We tend to want the results immediately. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. That, however, does not mean we need to sit back and simply wait for our goals to come to fruition. Today, I share six strategies for exercising patience while assertively working towards our objectives.

Before I get to those strategies, it’s crucial that you understand that there is a huge difference between patience and passivity. Patience is allowing the work that you’re doing to manifest as the results that you’re after. Passivity, on the other hand, is letting everything go past you, not being assertive in what needs to done, and hoping, praying, and wishing that somehow things are miraculously going to turn out the way that you want.


The very first step in exercising patience is having a vision. Take time out of every day and focus on that vision. Get it crystal clear in your mind. You need to be so clear about what you want that you can feel and experience it. The more that you ponder about your long-term goal, the more likely it is that you will maintain the course in the achievement of it. TWELVE-WEEK OBJECTIVES

If you look out five years, that’s a really long time to commit to an endeavor. I don’t even know what I’m going to have for dinner tonight, let alone what I’m going to be doing over the next five years. One of the questions people ask me all the time is, “Where do you see Order of Man in five years?” Of course, I have a vision but I really don’t know how all of that will play out because there’s so much that’s going to be happen between now and then. Technology will evolve. The political climate will change.

Maybe you want to lose 30 pounds, or run a marathon, or Spartan race. Maybe you want to start making $1,000 a month from a side business or a new venture. Maybe you want to secure a promotion or open the doors to your own shop. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but once you have the long-term vision, you need to start working backward into the shorter twelve-week objectives.

I typically have four twelve-week objectives. One of them is what I want to accomplish personally. I call this Calibration. Next, I consider my objectives for my relationships. I call this Connection. Next, I consider my physical health. I call this Condition. The last consideration is adding value through the work I do and my service in the community. I call this Contribution. TACTICS

You’ve spent the past 10, 20, 30, 40, maybe even 50 years engaged in certain patterns, beliefs, and activities. Those patterns have got you to exactly where you are today. The results you’re experiencing are not going to change overnight. Once you have your vision and twelve-week objectives, identify what you can do every single day that will yield your desired results.

If you have a twelve-week objective of paying off $10,000 of debt, in 30 days you should have $3,000 paid off, and, in 60 days, you should have a little over $6,000 paid off. These types of checkpoints let you know that you’re on the right track. Through those small little victories, you give yourself enough emotional and mental fuel to be able to continue down the path.

See, most people never look back to see how far they’ve come. All they do is look forward and think about how much further they have to go. While, of course, there’s value in looking down the road and understanding what you need to do between now and then, it’s okay to look back if you’re using it as fuel to propel you forward. Achieving checkpoints is an emotional win that will allow you to continue moving forward when you get discouraged. AFTER-ACTION REVIEWS

Also, it’s difficult to even know if you are moving the needle in the right direction because sometimes the progress is so small that you can’t even see it. Having an objective third party, who’s already walked the path that you’re on, can come back and say, “Have faith. Have a little discipline, Have a little dedication. Stay the course. You’re on the right path. It’s just going to take time.” If you don’t have that, and you’re not seeing the progress that you like, you’re going to give up too soon.

Have a mentor. Have a coach. Have a battle brother. Have somebody by your side who’s cheering you on, rallying for you, and willing to look back and say, “Keep going. You’re doing what needs to be done.” These types of people are invaluable in your life. They’re mentors, they’re coaches, they’re friends, they’re battle brothers, they’re people who care about you want to see you succeed.