5 Ugly truths about women junior ganymede

This essay 5 Ugly Truths about Women made me angry. Not for the reasons you think. The flame of chivalry has burned too low in my breast for me to run off knight-erranting on behalf of all women everywhere. I reserve it for my wife and sisters (family and ward) and mother and daughters. And I prefer to do it with a touch of self-mockery, more Philip Marlowe than Lancelot du Lac.

Why do the very saints of God know next to nothing about any of this? Oh, I am extremely grateful for the Church teachings on the characteristic flaws and temptations of human nature and of the married state. They are invaluable, along with Church teachings about how one in mutual union can overcome anger and luciferian pride through forgiveness and service and Christlike love, through prayer and counseling together, through priesthood blessings from husband to wife, through children and divine goals.

These teachings are all invaluable and I owe what high, holy happiness my marriage has achieved–which is considerable, which is much more than I deserve–to these teachings.

Yet the very saints of God know nothing about the characteristic failings of female nature, next to nothing about the characteristic strengths of female nature (there are a few vague and gauzy things said), next to nothing about the characteristic failings of male nature (there are a few jovial remarks from time to about men but more fun than true), and nothing about the characteristic strengths of male nature.

We rely on Disney to teach us this stuff. And even if Disney were well-intentioned like back in the old days, it is simply not an education. Romance is real, all that mythic stuff about men and women is real, it just isn’t identical with reality. The deep mystery of man and woman is embedded in a day-to-day reality of a number of practical, homespun facts.

I am not going to print this article and give it to the young men and young women I know. I am going to say something to them. They need to be told. But what? I’m not up to the task. Any help in the comments would be great. But we’re not up to the task either. Lets try, but lets admit that our attempts are going to be shaky, especially at first.

I’m hesitant to weigh in on this topic because I have observed, to my chagrin, that in my marriage I tend to have traits stereotypically associated with women, and my wife has traits associated with men. I’m not talking about our outward manner, I’m not saying I’m effeminate and she’s domineering. But I tend to be more emotional than she is. I have higher highs and lower lows, while she’s more even-keeled. Maybe for this reason I like to talk about my feelings and why I’m feeling them – because they’re a big part of my waking life — whereas she rarely engages in emotional self-analysis. She’s the one who taught me that you don’t need to talk everything through. Sometimes when you’re upset, it’s best to just drop the subject for a while. Go ahead and go to bed angry, and chances are you won’t be mad anymore when you wake up. It’s funny because she loves to talk generally, just not about things like that.

On the other hand, in our parenting roles we fit the stereotypes pretty neatly. She was very physically affectionate and attentive to our kids, and protective of them, always wanting to do things for them; whereas I tended towards letting them do things on their own and suffering the consequences of their actions (or inaction). She would react emotionally to their misbehavior, sometimes taking it as a personal insult, whereas I would react analytically and try to make them understand the problem with it.

I read the article and thought it was pretty spot-on. Especially since I have four young adult age sons, only one of whom is married. And it took him a long time and he endured a lot of rejection and heartache before he found his wife. His younger brothers tell me some of their struggles with the attitudes of women today. #3 is especially prevalent. One son has a great job as a technician at a car dealership, yes, he’s a mechanic with oil stains on his hands. He earns a good living, but as soon as a woman learns what kind of work he does, her interest fades and she moves on, looking for someone with a more prestigious career. Sad, but her loss actually.

I feel sorry for the young adults of today. They have been so indoctrinated in untruths, falsehoods, and lies that they have a difficult time forming friendships that can turn into marriages. Not sure of all the answers but a good start is to turn off the TV and other media and read some good old-fashioned books with proper role models to learn from; live the gospel and pray for lots of guidance.

No. 5 is….perhaps just a stronger restatement of something the Church already teaches, which is that men and women have different roles, and the role of man is that of leader and protector. But yeah, the extent to which women despise weakness in a man is becoming one of these truths that women won’t even admit to themselves, let alone others.

No. 3 has a misleading title. “Women care more about money/status, men care more about looks,” is a cliche, though accurate. The real “ugly truth” in No. 3 is the idea that a reversal in status can cause a woman to fall out of love with you. The male mind resists it because it makes women sound purely mercenary, and that’s exactly the conclusion that the manosphere arrives at. But it’s really no different from the loss of affection that a man feels when his wife stops making any effort to look nice.

Within the Church, I think men are insulated from No. 5 somewhat by the fact that their priesthood leadership in the home provides a status that is independent of finances. And women are also partially insulated from the opposite effect, by the commandment of complete fidelity in marriage. But that protection can also lead us to take our position in our own marriages for granted.

Women should not necessarily feel ashamed for valuing status. It actually matters to them at an instinctive level in the same way virginity matters to men at an instinctive level. The fact that women totally misunderstand the male instinctive preference for virginity doesn’t mean there is no validity there, and the same goes for the female instinctive preference for status.

The basic connection that religion needs to make for adherents is that these considerations matter for the good of the children. It is good for fathers to know who their kids are BECAUSE it is good for children to know who their fathers are. It is good for mothers to have the support of the larger community BECAUSE it is good for children to have mothers who have that support.

This even though women don’t understand at an instinctive level that it matters to her children to know who their real dad is and at the same level, men don’t understand that a mother needs community support. At an instinctive level, her concerns are about her receiving status in the community, and his concerns are about verifying his genetic success.

It’s actually something that drives me crazy about most men, how unwilling they are to just accept the fact that women can only go so far away from established community norms without being traumatized. I can understand why men don’t want to, because it would be so much easier if women were self-sufficient super-heroines who really didn’t need any help. (It does also drive me crazy that women have a hard time accepting the necessity of male instinct, hoping that men will be more like women, but as far as I can tell, Nature doesn’t demand that women be all that careful about which ideas are right, as much as which people are right. Hence the obsession with status.)